Ten years ago today at 10:51am my life forever changed as I laid eyes upon my first child. I didn't know what motherhood was really going to be like. The only thing I thought I knew about it was from watching other mothers and hearing their stories. Little did I know that my journey would be similar but completely different in my own way.
I watched this little human that had grown inside of me for 9 months, go from sleeping all the time to rolling over, scooting, crawling, walking like Bambi, running, tricycle, bicycle and now drive a go cart. I thought that all these years watching him grow up and become more intelligent would prepare me for his first double digit milestone but really it didn't. I just can't even wrap my head around the thought that I am a mother of a 10 year old. A whole decade worth of memories jam packed under my belt yet it seems as if he was just born yesterday. It makes me sad how fast time has flown. In 3 years I will be writing another blog post just like this saying he is 13 and now a teenager and I can't even with that. They say to cherish every memory while they are small because they really do become just memories. He will never be small again. He will never talk with his little raspy voice or call macaroni and cheese "wubber cheese" or call ranch "yip it." He's gone from all the cute little sayings to talking about sport stats, politics and Jesus. With each day that goes by he evolves more and more into a little man and less of a boy. More of his Father and less of me.
At the beginning of his infancy I had a plan of what kind of mother I was going to be. You know the one with less sugar and more vegetables, no soda more water and having the house put together at all time. My plan came crashing down quickly. You can plan all you want but you will have to adapt to reality. You will make mistakes, there will be a million messes, you will give into the bag of candy and go through the drive thru when you are exhausted. There will be crunched up gold fish crackers on the seats of your car and rotten sippy cups under the bed and under the car seats along with rock hard chicken nuggets.You will show up places with a mom bun and coffee spills on your shirt while your child dressed themselves as a super hero to go to target. It's life. It's normal and it's OK! Even though your motherhood plan won't go as you planned, it will go as God planned and with God's plan there will be a whole lot of LOVE and forgiveness.
One day I will look back on this post and wish that I was saying it was his 10th birthday today but in reality he will be a grown man with children of his own. Everyday that slips buy in the chaos of life gets added to the pile of the past and before we know it the pile is stacked high and we are at the end of our journey. Don't let your pile stack up too quickly without spending enough time with your kid's while they are small. You can never take too many pictures or videos of them because one day your now will become a then.
So, I'm a mother of a 10 year old. Now what? I guess I could try to make imaginary plans for what I think his future will look like but from everything that I have learned from this past decade is that God usually has a different plan. I've learned that I just have to let go of what I think my son should be doing and trust God. He knows the plan and they are better than mine anyways. So, for now, all I can do is give him immense support and love. Teach him how to seek God and show him how to treat others. Teach him to love and care deeply for people and see the best in them. I will pray with him and help him make decisions.
For 365 days I will be a mother of a 10 year old and for now, I will savor these last few years of him being a child and cherish these days that seem to be going by far too quickly. 60 seconds turns into a minute, 60 minutes turns into an hour, 24 hours turns into a day, 7 days make a week, 52.1785714 weeks make a year. Every second of every day adds up. It's what you do with your seconds that will determine what kind of relationship you will have with your children. Make those seconds count.